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My Dad and the Orangutans

On a day in June 2000, a doctor performed a biopsy on my father that showed he had mucosal melanoma, a rare and fatal cancer. The next morning, as I was standing in the shower, a shock wave of emotion and loss hit me. In that moment, I realized that my family would never be the same again. My father’s illness and impending death became a grim shadow in my life.

My life with the shadow was divided into two parts. In my normal life, I continued running my business and taking care of my rescue pug, Tristin. In my shadow life, I poured over medical research, corresponded with doctors, and reviewed all available clinical trials, trying to find a cure for my dad.

Finding a balance between my normal life and the shadow life was challenging. Of course, nothing was more important that helping my father. But what was the likelihood that–even if I devoted my every waking moment to keeping him alive–I could anything to save him? Thus I alternated between guilt and despair, until his death in February 2004.

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